It was a moment.
A moment from feeling buzzed and screaming along with Taylor Swift, leaning against the girl next to me to opening my eyes and everything was sideways.
The homecoming queen was in the front, sitting between her boyfriend and another boy. I was in the back with a couple and the pretty girl next to me was so drunk she kept talking about how her head was heavy. But she was the only one with her seatbelt on.
We were still in our dresses.
There was a moment. A flash of realization that the driver was drunk and there was no one in the vehicle that was sober.
A moment the driver stopped looking at the gravel ahead of us and the next moment there was a hard impact and I knew what was happening.
I closed my eyes and felt another impact, and then my body was no longer in the seat and we were flipping and I was positive that my head was about to be smashed.
But there was a jerk and I was on top of the pretty drunk girl and I opened my eyes and we were all sideways. There was no sound other than a loud single sob and a
“what do we do??”
“I don’t know.”
And I was panicking and I lifted myself to the door by propping my foot on the drivers seat and I wanted out and I was saying
“I have to get out of here!”
It was a moment.
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
|—||Abbie Nielsen (via narobe)|
my friends used to be the kids that called 911 for fun
the ones that started to blacken their lungs at age 12
abusing hard drugs at 13
drowning their sorrows with pills and bottles of liquor by 14
and now merely 17, poking needles and placing blotters in places they shouldn’t be.
and i am here
in my room
no texts, or empty bottles, no friends, just tumblr, some bands and my anxiety
i got away, but my escape was no better than theirs.
and i’m unsure which lifestyle is more shameful.
It wasn’t supposed to turn into this. Hanging out, going on a few dates, and being friends wasn’t supposed to turn into seeing each other every chance we get, going on dates with no one else and intense sex in his bed. A relationship without the label, without the responsibilities.
It wasn’t supposed to turn into staying up until 2 a.m. thinking about him.
It was supposed to be “no strings attached”
It was supposed to be innocent.
We weren’t supposed to be naked and close to each other, telling each other that we cared.
It was supposed to pass the time. But when does it stop?
Neither one of us were supposed to get hurt.
But someone will.
And it cannot be me.
oh my God.
perfection in a gif
can we take a moment
The “Reflection” series of older people looking at their younger selves in mirrors. Alzheimer’s prevents new memories from being retained and in many cases, those afflicted are left with memories of their youth.
Letting myself fall asleep next to him was the hardest wall to break through. I fought it. You see, falling asleep next to him, fully clothed, would mean that him and I were comfortable. But his sleeping body was almost an inspiration. I didn’t know what a good night’s sleep felt like anymore and watching it, feeling it, was a temptation to try it. My eyes got heavier as I listened to him breathe and felt the occasional twitch of his leg, proving that he was asleep. As I allowed myself to drift I knew that in the morning I’d have to do a walk of shame in front of his parents but the comfort of an actual bed was overwhelming.
When I awoke, the sunshine was peaking underneath the curtain and although he wasn’t wrapped around me and I wasn’t wrapped around him, I felt him. His soft voice told me it was 9:30a.m. and I realized that there was no turning back.
So I layed my head back down and when he asked me if I slept okay I replied with “Yes, but I have horrible morning breath.”